This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
