yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Randomize
