Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
