Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
