I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
