I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
