i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Randomize