He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
