also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
