sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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