So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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