Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
