Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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