Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
