sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I think I won the penis lottery.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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