Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
