I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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