I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
