Tell her she can't have a vagina
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
