i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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