The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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