the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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