I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm at about main and main street
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize
