it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
