saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
its not stalking. its research.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize