i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
This couple is walking their pig around campus
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
