Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
