Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
