Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
