omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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