Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
