i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
