I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize