i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
