Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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