I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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