I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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