It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
