Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
