Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
