He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
