Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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