What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I will be naked everywhere
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize