Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
