As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
