Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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