I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize