but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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