Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
The adults are the big ones right?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
