he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
