We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
