She said her name was "party"
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
