According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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