Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
