He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i dont even know how to be here
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
