She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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