I looked at my own cervix.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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