shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
