I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
