he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
