hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize