Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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