is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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