he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
