ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
