Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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