all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Randomize
