Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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