Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
