3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize