Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
