he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
