and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
