Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
