I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
