Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
