How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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