I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
